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[06 Feb 2005|01:05pm]
[ mood | creative ]

Life has been good.
I went shopping last night.
I bought some totally cute clothing.
I mean..totally cute.
And..I bought a new pair of heels. Totally gorgeous.
One of my cousins wanted me to party with her but..I didn't want to.

My dad didn't like a lot of the stuff I bought. Probably because I bought a lot of black. I think I look nice in black..but seriously who knows? I mean. I'm not going to dress in a lot of black from now on. But I bought some black pants and like three shirts and my dad totally freaked out.Whatever.

I talked to Jay the other night. And I think we're cool. That makes me happy actually. Because..I mean come on he's like the coolest! But, yeah. I think I need to get back in the game. And heartbreak is just a part of life right?

So...yeah. I'm totally tired. I'm going to go back to sleep now. Night!


2 xox

[30 Jan 2005|05:19pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]


I haven't really been on lately. I've been in my tree house a lot for this past week. It's very comforting. My mom is upset though. Because, she thinks I am hiding from the world, from reality. I'm not hiding from anything. I'm just trying to piece everything together. This week hasn't been the greatest week but alas, I'll survive. Thanks to everyone who gave me advice. I don't know what to say actually.

Craig, we need to talk. I'm sorry I got mad at you the other day and I'm sorry you stood outside of my house for a whole night.

I'm also apologizing to Ashely. I'm sorry for hating you. When I had no reason to hate. I'm sorry for just being the way I've been with you.

Emma, I'm sorry if I've been blowing you off lately. I've just had a lot on my mind. AND, I know that everyone has too. Call me.

Those are my apologies. I'm sorry. Two powerful words. I don't like it when people are mad at me. So. What has been going on in the lives of Degrassi's students? I'm reading journals. But, I don't know what's going on. I mean I know a few of you are extremly happy. And, then there are others..that I can't seem to figure out. It's really weird.

I feel bad for both Dylan and Marco. I read Marco's journal and all he can think about right now is Dylan..and I read Dylan's journal and all he wants to do..is get back with Marco. Funny, isn't it? How some people can't live without each other..I hope things work out for the both of you.

I'm going to cut this short. It's kind of long.

4 xox

[24 Jan 2005|08:05pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

And suddenly your world comes crashing down like the news of a couple that commited a suicide in a fit of passion for each other.

And my world has now come crashing down...all of it. Once again. I thought that my life was going perfectly as planned I was happy and I had you. Not someone that took advantage of me. Not someone that cheated on me. But, now it's all gone. My happiness, my heart, and my smile with it. All I see is gray. My tears haven't even stopped flowing. And I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW!

I HATE YOU SOO MUCH..but it's not like I can do anything about it now..can I? I wish I'd die. What is everyones problem? Why?

You are the one that deserves him..Not me. You are a much better person than I will ever be. Have fun. And, I hope you guys can bring each other happiness...

Love Always,
Manuela Santos
9 xox

[20 Jan 2005|09:21pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Life has been wonderful lately. But I won't mention anything bad that has happened. School is great. I hung out with Emma today at school since she's leaving tomorrow. So..she wants to become more attractive? I think she's pretty the way she is. She is totally gorgeous! But, yeah..we're going to go shopping and what-not. OMG she's the the bestest best friend I could ever ask for! I LOVE YOU EMMA! So, yeah..today we just hung out. I discovered we had a Fanta machine at school. I was so excited!..I know I'm such a geek. I hung out with Darcy and Jay. We decided to prank call people? Kind of childish..but it was fun. Well, I'm going to cut this short! <333

1 xox

[16 Jan 2005|06:58pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Life has been wonderful lately. It's been full of wonder, mystery, and passion. I'm totally in-like with someone right now and after Craig I didn't think I could fall for someone like this anymore. But, here I am swooning over you! Ahh..I'm such a dork. My parents are back from their...two week trip thingy. It's kind of nice having them back. And, they are all proud of me because I didn't mess up the house..but they still kind of think that my cousin was with me the whole time. So..I guess thats good. My mom and I went shopping today..and I bought a crap load of stuff..but the coolest thing I did was maybe get my picture taken in one of those booths but the cool thing about it was that they came out different..and it was only like three pictures..but it was still really awesome.

photobooth picturesCollapse )

I was being a dork in there if you can't tell. Oh..and I've been hanging out with Jay a lot lately. He's a really great person! I took him up to my treehouse. And no, not only little boys have treehouses. It's actually like a little room. It's on a piece of land my dad bought before I was born..and well..I was supposed to be a boy..and my daddy thought it'd be cool if I had a treehouse. Well, he had it built and everything before I was born..and then I came out a girl! Suprise...right?!? Well, my parents changed the way they had decorated it and now it's like my space. I love it to death!

Yeah..well...I have to go! <333Love Ya All!<3

6 xox

[11 Jan 2005|07:25pm]
[ mood | fast ]

New Layout. Go check it out. I think it rocks.

Life has been going extremely fast lately. I've been spending time in my tree house more often now. I've actually taken two people up there. Which is kind of amazing because I haven't even taken Emma. Sorry Em. I'll take you soon.<333

I saw Garden State. Wow. I wish love were like that. I mean wow. But, my life has been going like at the pace the movie goes. If anyone has seen it. This is going to be a really really short post.

I've been hanging out with Jay. He's an awesome guy.

let go. jump in. well, what you're waiting for? it's alright cause there's beauty in the breakdown.

4 xox

[07 Jan 2005|05:39pm]
Hello everyone!<3
I've been hanging out with Jay a lot. And you so didn't get me back! He's really fun to hang out with!
So, my parents will be home in exactly a week. I can't believe they just left me. My dad wired me more money..so, hey thats cool. Not, that I need it. My mom packed the house with food before they left and she like payed all the bills and everything. So, pretty much that money is mine. I'm probably going to go shopping or something. I can't believe I haven't messed up the house or anything yet! It's actually really amusing. All I've actually really done is hang out with people and we usually just do stuff. The TV hasn't really been a big part of my life either. Only really this thingy.

My classes have been really boring too. Most of the kids are on vacation. So, pretty much I just let them skate around. And I read! Yeah READ! OMG. Okay. I'm gonna get off this thing...<3333333333333

p.s. i miss you
4 xox

[30 Dec 2004|10:02pm]
This just about sums up what I am feeling right now...

I didn't hear you leave,
I wonder how am I still here
I don't want to move a thing,
It might change my memory

Oh I am what I am,
I'll do what I want, but I can't hide
I won't go, I won't sleep,
I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me
I won't leave, I can't hide,
I cannot be, until you're resting here with me

I don't want to call my friends,
They might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed,
Risk forgetting all that's been

Oh I am what I am,
I'll do what I want, but I can't hide
I won't go, I won't sleep,
I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me
I won't leave, I can't hide,
I cannot be, until you're resting here with me
3 xox

[30 Dec 2004|07:22pm]
[ mood | bored ]

I went to the mall with Craig yesterday. It was okay. I bought some new clothes and some more shoes. Eh...

Life has been really boring lately. My parents called and said that they wouldn't be home for another two weeks. But, that I'd be fine for a while. They wired over some money for me to sustain myself. I don't know. They asked to speak with my cousin but I told them he was at work. And they believed me. He has his own life now..and pretty much he said he is going to come over every other day just to see if I'm fine. I told him not to worry. But, he's the type that'd worry. So..yeah.

Meh. Being at home alone is just like whatever.

Does anyone know when school is starting back up?



[28 Dec 2004|11:05am]
[ mood | hot ]

My party sucked ass. I think I drank a whole bottle of Vodka straight. Except for the first glass I had that was a screwdriver. I don't know what time the 5 people left. But, my house was pretty much clean. The only thing I had to pick up was one pizza box and Alex actually threw away the bag of cheetos. I even found my stereo off. I now have Giraffey Giraffe which is being added to my Fluffy Fluff collection. I still collect them so what! Emma didn't show up but that's okay. Because she was supposed to be there. She wanted to throw the party in the first place. So...whatever. From what I hear Sully kicked Chesters ass. Sully did have a black eye though. Meh.

Yeah. I'm kind of hung over. But, yeah. Anyone want to hang out later?


2 xox

[27 Dec 2004|08:59am]
[ mood | silly ]

I hung out with Jayson last night.
It was fun.

I have to get the house ready for the party.
Emma should be coming to help since she wanted to have the party.

Okay, yeah...it's short but so much of this has to be secret.

Love Ya<333


[25 Dec 2004|06:30pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

Okay. I really really really HATE that new kid. Chester? He's a little asshole. He's like Chester the Molester. He suggested I had syphilis. Ugh. I've only had sex once with one person. But I'm sure that'll be more than he'll ever have. Ugh. I swear if that dweeb every comes near me I swear I will castrate him. And then I'll hang his only friends outside of Degrassi! Though I'd probably have to wear protective gear... ARGH! I think people should gang up to kick his ass...

Anyways, on a happier note. Christmas has rocked. I spent time with my parents who are leaving tonight!!! And my cousin is supposed to stay to look after me. But, Emma wanted to throw a party. And I offered my casa. So, Monday night? Just RSVP...I know that sounds gay. But I need to know how much crap I have to buy. And I'm assuming alcohol. I mean who doesn't like alcohol. Just no puking in the house. But, any requests on what liquor to buy...or even no liquor. So...yeah. Just leave a comment..or something.<333

Love Ya All!

11 xox

[25 Dec 2004|09:26am]
[ mood | tired ]

Happy Christmas everyone!

Christmas recital thing went great! They always do it better. It turns out that one of the little girls is Sullys sister. I couldn't believe it. She is so sweet. And well everyone knows Sully.

I hung out with Emma and Craig the other day. It was really really fun.

Yeah. So. This post is useless!<3

3 xox

[22 Dec 2004|10:52am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Uh..the night before last was amazing and horrible at the same time.

But, I wouldn't have changed it for anything.

That's all I'm going to say too.


Oh...and I have a class today...ugh. at 5.


3 xox

[19 Dec 2004|09:54pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

So...everyone knows what happened...

I just got back from the skating rink. I went there because it's like an outlet for me....I was working myself so hard. I fell at least 12 times but I kept going. And I was pushing myself so hard. The last time I fell I just stayed on the ice. And I was crying by then. And I didn't know it but I had an audience. He was there the whole fucking time! Watching me. When I was crying he skated up to me...

He gave me all of this bullshit about him being so sorry and that he'd never meant to hurt me..and that he was stupid. He wanted me to take him back.

"How simple right? Wrong! This is the second time that this has happened to me. But, you wouldn't understand would you?" Those were my exact words then I just skated off...and he followed me. But I just went to my locker took off my skates and kept going. The tears just rolling down my face. And all he could say was "Manuella, I'm sorry.." Well...guess what? Sorry's not enough. I got home and all I've been doing is writing...

..........Collapse )

I'm not the next Poet Laureate(sp?) but yeah...just don't criticize. They're just feelings...

God, I hope this makes sense.


5 xox

[19 Dec 2004|01:54pm]
He met my parents!!! And my dad told me he approved of him. He'd told me he'd loved me...

We were at the rink and we were just skating around and we sat down in the middle of the ice and he gave me this locket and he told me to keep it forever. And he just held me for about an hour. And I felt infinite. It had a picture of him and I in it. I put it on that very moment and we just sat there with each other.

Life's a bitch.

He cheated on me. So, I ended it with him...the weird thing is. It didn't hurt when I caught him with that girl and it didn't hurt when I confronted him about it. It didn't hurt when he started crying and asked me to forgive him. I don't know why...

I found him and this slut Saturday Night. In our secret place. Her shirt half off...

I hurts now though.

That's it now...
16 xox

OOC:Happy B-Day Jen! [06 Dec 2004|11:56am]
[ mood | crazy ]

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2 xox

sigh [05 Dec 2004|02:07pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Hey. Life has been wonderful. I've actually been avoiding the drama of Degrassi because I'm just happy.
It's been a while that I've been happy. Spirit Squad practice has been great. And Darcy stopped throwing accusations my way.

Well, I've spent all last week with....you know who! He is precious! And just awesome. I'm just so happy when I'm with him. I met his friends a few days ago and they all like me. Well, I think they do. I went on a double date with Paige and Spin and they seemed to like him. So, I guess all is well!

My job has gotten easier and the kids are going to stage their annual christmas-on-ice! This year is going to be great. Angie stopped fighting and she is starting to get really good. She hasn't been in class but Joey has been bringing her so that she doesn't get left behind. I'm not sure what was wrong with her but a couple days ago she actually came on in gave me a big hug and apologized for her behavior!

She's a great kid. Well, I have to go to a doctors appoinment. Ugh! Lots of Love!


12 xox

Is LOVE generator [04 Dec 2004|08:27pm]
clothes are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

Soo true!

[22 Nov 2004|11:50am]
I guess Degrassi has gone to hell. But really what's new? Everyone is fucking tripping. I think everyone should really take a breather. That's probably why I think I might be going crazy but eh. What can you do? Yesterday was fun fun fun! I went over to Toby's house and him, JT, Liberty, and I just hung out and played Scene It. It's this movie trivia game. We played in teams. Of course JT and Liberty were one team and Toby and I were the other. The beat us into the ground. I bet JT has had this game for about and a week and has been quizzing himself by watching it over and over and over again. Eh. Oh well. Yesterday was great. I wanted Emma to be there so badly but she's grounded. I saw it coming. Something just had to burst in that girl. I'm kind of proud of her. I worry a lot when she just keeps her anger and frustration pinned up. And instead of just telling people she finds ways to distract herself like her Nature Clubs and whatnot. I was kind of impressed the last time that we fought because she was brutally honest. But people sometimes need honesty. I love you so much Em! I hope we're still best friends. I'd be torn to pieces if you replaced me with craig. Ugh.

Anyways, Paige!!! We need to hang out soon. You still owe me a trip to the mall. I am packing cash. So...pretty much a lot of our spendings will be on me. I just need to buy something. I think I can say I am a shopaholic. But I can live with that. Shopping is...good for the soul. Yes it is. I love it! Okay. I think I should stop myself. So, is anything else new except all of this Drama-Rama coming from the lives of our students? I mean I am so reading the gossip journal. But come on half of that can't be true. Oh Well? I was going to suggest a girls night but I'm not sure if Ellie and Ashley are on speaking terms. I doubt they are. I guess I have to go. Love Ya All Lots!!
4 xox

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